Dainty Blooms - Copyright R.Weal 2011

Today is my last day working for Chartis Insurance and I’m
eagerly anticipating taking the summer out to focus on some
of my personal work projects, blogging more, getting out to do more photography and editing my back log! I’m also going to do some more painting and should the muse bless me some more writing.

Add to that I want to get back to being a bit fitter and healthier, so rest, relaxation, regular exercise and a healthier diet are also on the to do list. One of the ways I’m hoping to improve my fitness is by starting up my Bollywood dance classes again.

Yes the summer looks set to be a good one and I’m hoping to get out and about in the countryside more, not to mention travel plans abroad.

Sometimes you just have to take some time out and focus on your own health and well being. It’s not good to let a pure pursuit of work get in the way of living your life.

As of tomorrow I’m going to step off the rat race for a while and enjoy the fruits of my labours over the past few years. I hope to be able to share some of those artistic outputs here with you.

Tread safely

Wealie x

Technology goes awry, doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to and in terminal cases gets broken or doesn’t work at all.  I’ve suffered from this disease now for a few years, but it took until now for me to piece together the full story of my symptoms and understand fully the extent to which I suffer from the disease.

Here’s the evidence of my symptoms:

My Sony Vaio Laptop

I spent an obscene amount of money on a state of the art 19 inch screen Sony Vaio. Within 2 months of owning it the screen started to flicker and have either a white, blue or green cast at times. I suppose I should have taken it back to the Sony Centre, but by this time I had heard the scare stories of laptops not coming back for months and when they did, not coming back properly.  So, I decided I could live with the intermittent problem.

But that was not the end of my Vaio woes, oh no!  Then came Windows Service Pack 2 that wouldn’t load no matter how many times I tried.  From that point on things just went from bad to worse, especially when I realised that not only had I the dreaded Windows Vista, but the much maligned Windows Vista Ultimate!

I wasn’t able to use Adobe Bridge or even install Adobe Premiere because it turned out that the Vaio was full of Sony proprietary drivers, which meant that even when the latest drivers were available from the original part manufacturers I couldn’t load them as Sony hadn’t created their own version!  So, my nVidia video drivers were out of date for years.

Even restoring the factory settings didn’t fix all the bugs and I finally resigned myself to using a laptop that worked “kind of” most of the time.  Then the battery failed after only 1.5 years, so now the laptop was not so mobile unless you had a plug nearby.  After another 6 months working like this I came to the conclusion that Sony Vaios were not that great (after all a lot of people were saying that) and that I probably needed to get a new laptop that wasn’t made by Sony, but that’s another story.

At no point did I think that perhaps the reason was me…..

My iPhone 3GS

Ever since I purchased it synching my iPhone with iTunes has been a nightmare.  It didn’t matter whether I used the old HP desktop, the Sony Vaio Laptop or the Dell XPS, my iPhone did not like to synch.  It was never simple; invariably the synching would fail more often than it succeeded.  This meant I needed to restore from a backup which was often out of date because I didn’t synch as often as I should due to the hassles of synching. I took to copying all the files from my iPhone before I synched it just so any new content didn’t get lost.  Some days it could take 5 hours to get my iPhone synched just so it would work again, not counting the fun hours reloading content like music.

Then after about 8 months I started having an intermittent error message pop up telling me the device I was trying to use would not work with the iPhone, even when I didn’t have a device plugged in! It kept popping up on the screen and stopping the sound on the iPod and ruining games, etc!  Turns out it was the docking port, which apparently is a common thing to go wrong with iPhones :-/  You see the docking port is always exposed unless it’s being charged or synched – so you would think it would be a strong and well protected area…..  The reality is that it is highly susceptible to water damage, so if for instance like me you listen to your music in the bathroom the steam might damage the port!  Unfortunately whenever I took it to the Apple Store to get the techs to look at it that was when it decided to work perfectly and guess what – the moment I got home or sufficiently far enough away from the Apple store it would act up again.

Now I saw all the Apple adverts, I heard all the blurb about how much better Apple is than PC and I have to say my experience so far (including my iPad 2 below) leads me to believe that this really isn’t the case.  However, I began to wonder if perhaps I might also be part of the problem.

My Dell XPS Laptop

I kid you not I had a blue screen the moment I first used it; it hadn’t even finished loading all the set-up files and we had to do a system restore! Ben managed to get it working but then it started locking up totally, no key strokes or mouse movement would affect it and you could leave it all night and it wouldn’t resolve the issue.  There was no consistency to the error messaging and my fan was constantly on high!

I’d resolved myself to the need for a complete system restore, but I couldn’t keep the laptop on long enough to be able to initiate it! Luckily Dell was very helpful and sent out an engineer, turns out it was a bad motherboard.  Was it just bad luck? – no, definitely proof of a spreading infection of Technitus.

My Panasonic Plasma Screen

At the end of my last contract I decided to treat myself to a new TV/Audio system seeing as how my last TV/Video/Stereo combo was bought back in 1998 and was looking a little technologically tired.  It was a 28 inch Sony Trinitron TV and state of the art Video Player and a Technics 5 disc CD and tape-to-tape deck that I had been most happy with over the years, but didn’t really help with HD, Blu-ray and the impending doom of analogue TV.  I had a cheap DVD player and a cheap Freeview tuner, which then got replaced with a standard Freesat box, but I was far behind technologically speaking.

Ben did some sterling research into the pros and cons of Plasma versus LED and we came to the conclusion that to get the same picture quality as the Plasma TV we were interested in we’d have to pay an awful lot more for an LED.  Also I wasn’t interested in 3D; personally it gives me a headache, so once in a while at the cinema is enough for me.

We ended up buying a great ex-display Panasonic full HD plasma screen with Freesat HD and Freeview HD tuners from Waitrose along with a Panasonic Cinema surround sound system and Blu-ray player and a combined Blu-ray recorder and Hard Drive recorder with HD Freeview Tuner.  Ben had lots of fun putting the system together and although the 42″ screen looked waaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger in the living room we were tickled pink with the new system….That was until about a month after I purchased it I knocked Ben’s guitar and it hit the plasma screen in the bottom corner and cracked it.

We turned it on hoping against hope, but I’d been struck with a new wave of Technitus and all we got was a blank screen and a horrible high pitched whine.  This heralded a new TV search for Ben as the model we had bought was no longer in production and when we found anyone selling it at full price (remember we bought an ex display!) it was only £100 less than the new models.  So, on the plus side we now have an even better TV, although it is silver rather than black :-/, but it is even more suped-up technologically speaking (not that I know how to use most of it).

My iPad 2

Probably the worst case of the lot as I only got this working for about 10 minutes!  I had ordered my iPad 2 from the Apple website complete with engraving, the weekend that it was launched.  It took 3 weeks to arrive and I was very excited when I opened the package.  Everything seemed to be fine; it switched on and asked to be linked to iTunes – all as normal and expected.  I must admit to having some trepidation about linking it up to iTunes, but thought I was just being silly (ha!).

So the first synching went okay, but then when I tried to synch it to get my apps and contacts onto the iPad it didn’t work and it told me that a firmware update was required, which of course failed!  I tried to re-initiate the firmware update several times, I tried reinstalling iTunes, I made sure my windows updates were up to date, I tried synching it on Ben’s laptop and finally I gave up and took it to the Apple store.  As you’ve probably guessed the Apple store couldn’t do it either and I was told it was a fatal hardware error which meant I would need to get a replacement (AAAARRRGGGHH!).  Not only was the iPad 2 not working though, but the £60 red leather iPad 2 cover I had ordered was bent and had water mark damage on the leather!

The Apple store where I live is a reseller and therefore they were not able to replace my iPad, even if they’d had any in stock (don’t get me started on Apple’s crappy stocking policy!), which they didn’t.  However, they said that I should be able to exchange it at one of the official Apple stores.  Cue long conversations by my lovely sister Shelley and her boyfriend Jamie with the two stores close to home who both said they couldn’t replace it.  This was followed by Shelley speaking with the Apple care line who said the stores could replace it, but without the engraving.  In the end I had to get a refund from Apple Online for my iPad and having been assured that the store nearest to me had stock, was advised to go and purchase a new one direct from the store! When I went to the store, it turned out that not only did they have no stock, but wouldn’t receive any further shipments for several days at the earliest.

To add insult to injury, to replace the red leather cover I would need to re-order it online as it isn’t sold in stores  My sister Shelley arranged for me get a refund on both the iPad 2 and the cover and bless her got me a £40 extra rebate for my troubles.

I’m now waiting on a new iPad 2, which I’ve ordered on a Vodafone contract, which is a lot cheaper for the device, but will not be delivered for another 3-4 weeks, so who knows whether that will work for me either!

Conclusion – I have Technitus!

And so you can see I have a rather pernicious infection and I never know when a new symptom will arise and affect my poor technology.  What’s worse is that this disease has yet to be fully diagnosed and there is no known cure

Tread safely and keep me away from all your technology or suffer the dire consequences.

Wealie x

Is this what you want from me? - Copyright R.Weal 2007

I read a really good article about depression today called In the Fog by Ginger, who shared her personal story and the things she has learnt about depression and how to cope with it.  If you get the chance it is well worth a read.

It amazes me the number of people that suffer from depression and the common story they all tell of isolation and loneliness.  There is a lot of stigma around depression, I think perhaps mainly because people who don’t suffer can’t quite understand how it works.  They can’t see any visible sign of the disease, they don’t understand how you catch it or if it is contagious and they’re scared by the fact there is no simple cure.  Those that suffer hide their pain and loneliness.  They feel an understandable, but unwarranted shame and weakness, when the truth is far more complicated.  All of this leads to further isolation and more loneliness, often prolonging the suffering needlessly.  The reality is that people with depression, the doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists are not much more the wiser either!

What can we do to lift the stigma?

So many people suffer with depression and stress, far more than admit it and it’s about time we lifted this insidious stigma that has been placed upon the sufferers.  The only way I can see this being possible is if people like Ginger, Shelly, Melissa and I share our experiences and by doing so encourage others to as well.  Please read Ginger, Shelly and Melissa’s experiences and please share your experiences either in my blog’s comments or on your own blog and link it back here.  Let’s take a stand once and for all and shed some light on this murky topic, give solace to those suffering through our experiences of surviving it and helpful tips of how we managed to get through the bad times.  I know when I was at my lowest ebb I would have loved to know that I was not alone.

The artist and depression

One thing I have noted in my discussions of depression with others is that individuals who suffer with depression are often touched with a deep artistic and emotional vein.  They are deeply in touch with their imagination, creativity and the emotional core of their being.  This means they can appreciate the simple pleasures, find beauty in what others might find ugly, will find goodness in unlikely places and are capable of producing the most wonderful, engaging, magical and beautiful works of art.  But in all things there is a balance, a yin to the yang and if an artistic individual has the ability to see the merest light and beauty in life, they are equally capable of falling into the darkness and becoming mired in the ugliness of life.

My personal experiences with depression

Don't Forget Me - Because Sometimes Moving on and Letting Go Isn't Simple - Copyright R.Weal 2008

I have suffered with depression over the years, sometimes to the point at which it became completely debilitating and other times where no one, not even my closest friends and family were aware that I was anything more than a little bit blue.   I think it started fairly early around 14, but I didn’t understand what it was.  I just felt like I didn’t want to be around anyone, I didn’t want to leave my bedroom, let alone the house.  I just wanted to escape into books and my artistic outlets, listening to music, shutting myself off from the real world, existing in an imaginary world where no one could reach or hurt me.  As I was living at home it was fairly mild and went unnoticed by my family.  It was a recurring theme of my teens, but it wasn’t until I was 24 that I had my first real all out fight with depression, which also turned out to be the most cataclysmic!

At 24 I was in a relationship that was stifling me, that I couldn’t see my way clear of and my relationship with my mother had hit an all time low from which it never recovered.  I had no direction, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, though everyone seemed to think they knew who I was, what I stood for and where I was going, what I should be doing and it was at odds with the secret dreams I held deep within me.  In addition to the symptoms I had suffered in my teens I got severe anxiety, being unable to keep down any food, sometimes not even being able to drink water for the severity of the butterflies that took up permanent residence in my stomach.  I lost a terrible amount of weight in a very short time (a lot of people thought I was anorexic or bulimic).  I had severe insomnia and would drive around at night for hours on end, (it was not uncommon for me to do over 100 miles in a night!).  I was restless and yet listless, I didn’t want to leave the house and yet could not stay in the company of my partner.  I barely ate or drank, and on weekends when my partner wasn’t there I never got out of bed and just slept.

Finally I found myself completely exhausted, at my wits end standing at the edge of the ocean with an insidious voice calling out to me of what it would be like to just keep walking and then just swimming out further and further from shore, until my limbs grew tired and cold, my mind peaceful and numb and I could just not worry about living any more, to give myself over to the tide of death and her deadly siren song.  It seemed to me that I did not have one reason to live, not one bright spark of hope in my future and that the world and everyone in it would have been better off without me.  I was so alone, stood out in the wind and rain not feeling the cold or the wet, ready to give up on life at such a young age.

This is not an easy thing for me to share, even as I type this I am transported back to that beach and it brings tears to my eyes, but it is important to me that I share this, so that should just one person suffering read this then they might know that they are not alone, that I have stood where they do now and that through reading this they might see that there is hope.

The Light in my darkness

And in my darkest hour it was my art that shed the light that saved me.  Just as I was contemplating moving my feet forward into the water a single line of poetry entered my head and suddenly for just one more minute I had a reason to keep breathing, a need to live to give birth to the poem that began to beat incessantly within my head.  I turned away from the insidious whispers of oblivion, got back in my car and went home to write the poem and then fell into an exhausted unconsciousness.

The next morning I awoke petrified by my actions of the night before, it was like a terrible nightmare, but I knew that it was real, if not for the poem staring up at me from the paper on the desk.  I phoned the doctors got an emergency appointment and was finally diagnosed and treated for depression with counselling and anti-depressants.

This is the poem that saved me:

THE STORM

It is easy to find oneself lost within the storm. It approaches so silently; no earthly being can escape its wake. Encompassing you within its heartless winds, buffeting your heart with its cool kiss. You stand alone as it beats down its tears of rage, blistering upon your furrowed brow, leave me, please leave me now. Insignificant spec, I cannot hear my heart, I am mute in my discontent and still this storm vents.

“I am lost”, I am losing my grip and I fear I shall fall. Who then shall be there to listen, who shall wait at the foot of the precipice for my ungainly fate? I am nothing, I am not even hate. What does it matter, I hear the hounds at my door, this isn’t my time, this isn’t my place, but who am I to question almighty fate?

Anger seething still within, but I’m so tired, the sea calls out to me through the din. Whispered longing to know my flesh, a reckless abandon rests beneath my breast. Silent entreaty I pray to the night, but my angel has taken his flight. To dance again my one request, I wait upon your true caress.

Ruth Weal
10th November 1999 11.20 pm
Copyright R.Weal 1999 ©

The importance of art for expression and as a coping mechanism

Convergence (A Self Portrait) - Copyright R.Weal 2008

The Storm is just a few scant verses and stylistically not my best work, but it is by far my most important and most deeply cherished!  You cannot under estimate the importance of art as a means of expression and a coping mechanism.

Perversely I have created some of my most charged and beautiful works of art in my depression.  The depth of the emotions that depression draws from me has allowed me to open up my artistry to levels I never would have dreamed possible in my mentally healthy state.

It is an important method of coping with the emotions that you cannot verbalise or cry out.  It gave me a sense of fulfilment that even on my very worst days I had not wasted them because I had written a poem, painted a picture, taken and edited a photograph.  Art gave meaning to my depression, which allowed me to understand it and in turn better know myself and why the depression had taken hold.

Would I take a cure?

I have often wrangled with the idea of what I would do if a quick cure for depression became available. The decision to take it would not be an easy one, for as much as my demons haunt me and can be destructive to my life they can also be instructive, creative and humbling.  My depression is a part of me, part of the balance of my being that makes me a better person I think.

When I took anti-depressants I found myself feeling strangely disconnected from myself, I was flat, no longer able to touch my emotions and engage with the creativity that they drew from me.  It was quite a disconcerting and frightening experience and I took myself off the pills fairly quickly (not that I’m advocating everyone should do that, especially not without consulting your doctor!).

How do I cope?

For me pills were not the answer, there is no quick fix for my depression it is much like a reformed alcoholic of years who continues to go to AA meetings because they will always be haunted by the spectre of the addiction and relapses are always a possibility.  Depression is a silent, insidious creeping disease that can take you by surprise if you don’t take the time to watch yourself carefully.

I am lucky not to have ever relapsed to the state I was in when “The Storm” came to save me.  I am ever vigilant and yet sometimes the depression gets the better of me, but today I understand it and me well enough to weather the storm.  I know how to combat and control it with my coping mechanisms.

Here’s what works for me:

1. Channel the emotion through art - Whatever it is, no matter the medium or how good or bad you think it may be. Get it out, let it live in all its glory and make something positive out of the experience.  All my depressed pieces rank amongst those I am most proud and fond of
2. Share your art and experiences – the first time I got up and read my poetry out loud was a revelation and it is an amazing feeling when people come up to you and tell you they’ve felt that way, or that what you read has helped them too.  Not to mention the wonderful comments I’ve received on my flickr account for my artistic photography
3. Give yourself leave to feel the emotion – Sometimes you have to give in, let it consume you for just a little while to bank the fires and keep control
4. Try and be open about how you are feeling with those closest to you – This is the part I find the most difficult.  I’m a very emotional person, but I keep it all very close to my heart and find it excruciating sometimes to externalise what I feel unless it is through art, but I am slowly getting better at it.
5. Seek help – I had a fantastic doctor when I was 24 who couldn’t do enough to help me.  It felt wonderful just to know that I wasn’t being silly, that I really was ill and the counselling was a great experience that gave me a completely unbiased person to talk to, who didn’t have a stake in the lives of any of the people I spoke to her about.

To my fellow suffers

Though I do not know your names, I know your hearts, I hear your souls crying out.  I have one truly important thing to tell you YOU ARE NOT ALONE and I am here for you if you need me.  Feel free to comment on the blog or email me at info@wealie.co.uk, I promise to respond!

Take what you can from my experience and my art, it is freely given with all my love and friendship and no requirement for you to give anything back.  But when and if you feel strong enough I urge you to share your experiences so that we might lift the veil of silence, burn off the stigma and maybe help another sufferer or two along the way.

Sleep safely, and find me in the newborn night.

Oblivion knows my name and she whispers softly to me.

Wealie x

Other great blog posts about depression

• In the Fog by Ginger on her blog Seamstress of Avalon
• Creative Depression by Melissa on her blog Sugar Filled Emotions
• Grateful for depression by Christine on her inspirational blog Hope despite Depression
• Depression and Chronic Illness by Foxy on their blog Foxy in the Waiting Room

Snowy view from my study - Copyright R.Weal 2010

Well it’s December again, the shops are now well and truly filled with Christmas goods, everywhere you go they’re playing those terrible Christmas songs (personally I could do without them) and Mother Nature herself has decided to join in and lend a bit of Christmas like cheer to the UK.

The snow has fallen all across most, if not all of Britain over this last week.  Here in Salisbury, we’ve been pretty lucky to miss out on the full scale snowed in status, but it was falling thick and fast last night.

In the end I’d say we had around 3 inches, but other areas had much more. It’s amazing how just a little bit of snow can bring this country to its knees. We’re a strange bunch the British, we seem to be so preoccupied with our weather, but we’re never prepared, I can’t quite work out how that should be? Answers on a postcard to Wealie please.

Snowy Lanterns - Copyright R.Weal 2010

Below is a very short little video that I took on the iphone of the snow falling. The flakes were just so large and fluffy that it was too much to resist.

Enjoy the winter wonderland folks!

Wealie x

Luckily I was only 20 mins out from home, though it took me another 40 to crawl back home, especially in morning rush hour. Still insurance called and screen will be replaced today.

I took a picture of the crack below if you are interested!

A Wealie Cracked Windscreen - Taken on the iphone - Copyright R.Weal 2010

Here’s hoping tomorrow’s drive will be less eventful!

Wealie x

Pumpkin swirls - Copyright R.Weal 2009

Halloween is next weekend and it’s time to get pumpkin carving, stash some treats and get with the scary costume and haunted house prop making!  Last year I carved my fist pumpkin, I’ve always left that messy stuff to other people, but actually really enjoyed the process.  You can see my first pumpkin carving in the pictures to the left and below, not bad huh?

Halloween parties and costumes have always been a favourite of mine, with a zombie bride or Gothic princess being my favourite costumes in years gone by.  I’ve always loved horror and ghost stories and all the mythology of the magic and mystery that surrounds this time of year. Since moving to Salisbury back in 2005 I’ve had lots of raucous Halloween parties with friends, pictures of which can be found on flickr.

Last year Halloween took a new direction for me, which was great because I got to share it with a young person who had never really done the whole Halloween thing before!  It was a bit more sedate than the parties, but no less fun and I’m looking forward to repeating the experience again this year.  I have plenty of plans for turning the Wealie residence into a haunted house of horror, making scary cakes and generally acting like a kid again, well nothing particularly new there.

My pumpkin carving - Copyright R.Weal 2009

In the UK trick or treating and the big holiday feel to Halloween is a fairly recent phenomenon.  When I was a kid we didn’t really do anything about it except tell scary stories and perhaps have a fancy dress party if we were lucky.  There were always some great horror films and programmes on TV to scare us silly, but trick or treating and the whole holiday feel just wasn’t part of British culture.  I was amazed when at 14 I went on holiday to Orlando, Florida during Halloween and Bonfire Night, with Halloween being this massive holiday and nothing at all for Bonfire Night!

Fiery Red - Copyright R.Weal 2009

Bonfire night for you non-Brits is 05 November, which marks the anniversary of the 1605 gunpowder plot to blow up the houses of parliament in London!  Basically we have a great big bonfire, burn an effigy of the most infamous of the plotters Guy Fawkes and let off a load of fireworks. The tradition of a penny for the guy, comes from kids creating the effigies of Guy Fawkes, which are then set at the top of the bonfires each year.  Guy Fawkes is the most famous (arguably perhaps the only famous one, unless you know your history) of the gunpowder plotters who was executed along with three other plotters on 31 January 1606 and we’ve been burning him over and over again ever since.  Yes, if you hadn’t already guessed, we Brits are historically a fairly brutal people.

Come Halloween and Bonfire night I will be sharing my pictures and thoughts, together with a little bit of what the two holidays are originally about (for those who might be interested),  but for now I just thought I’d whet your appetite a little bit!

Happy holiday anticipation!

Wealie x

New lenses, flash and ring flash on the way next week, so Wealie’s photography kit is rocking! Once I’ve got the settings sorted and the new kit arrives I’m hoping I’ll have some good work to share here, so watch this space!

Stay snap happy!

Wealie x

2010 has been a big year for Shelley, with lots of changes for the good happening in her life and I’m extremely proud and happy for her that she’s really enjoying her life right now, with a great, “kind of new” man in her life – Jamie (well they had been best buddies for ages) and her fab new job at Dyson; where apparently according to her facebook status she now knows the name of everyone she works with after just 4.5 weeks.  She’s got the scoop on me there as it took me at least double that time to know the names of the people I worked with and I still have trouble with the ones I don’t see that often and I’ve been there nearly a year!

Shelley and her boy Joey - Copyright R.Weal 2008

Shelley’s pride and joy (other than Frankie the pony who sometimes seems more trouble than he’s worth – only joking sis) is her baby boy Joey. Joey’s been with Shelley through the good times and the bad over the years and is her devoted companion who she does spoil rotten, though not as much as his Auntie Ruth does when they come to visit

You may have guessed from the pictures that Joey is my furry nephew (I don’t have any of the pink and smelly bawling kind), but sometimes when people hear me refer to my nephew they do wonder about me and my sister. I took the pictures above on a lovely sunny summer day out in Lizzie Gardens and if you go into a park with Joey, you best have a toy that you can throw for him and if you bring his Auntie Ruth, best to bring two or three as I have a habit of getting toys stuck up trees much to Joey and Shelley’s chagrin!

So happy b.day little sis, I hope that you get spoilt rotten by Jamie, that you get oodles of pressies and have a thoroughly wonderful day.

All my love

Your big Sis
x

P.S – You’re now immortalised on the web, is that a good enough pressie or will I have to stump up some cash? R x

If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous then you’ll be pleased to know that there are a lot of activities happening across the country, but you can also get involved on-line too – especially good news for poetic souls across the globe!  The National Poetry Day team are inviting you to share a few lines of your favourite poems in your status updates on Facebook or your Twitter Tweets.  The Waterstones Facebook Page is inviting you to share your own “Home” inspired poetry on it’s wall and will be awarding a little prize for the most fun/creative/imaginative poem posted before midnight tonight.  At the Inpress website they have a competition for your “Home” inspire poetic creations, the prize is an Inpress magazine subscription.

Battered Heart - Copyright R.Weal 2008

So in the spirit of the day I though I’d put a “home-ish” inspired poem, as I don’t have one about home…yet.  I may well have a bit of inspiration today and will add another post with the poem should the muses feel generous.

Along with the poem is an accompanying pic that partially inspired it. Having just purchased a macro lens I decided to practise on some miscellaneous objects in my study, one of which was a rather battered looking novelty heart pen that was rocking some nice textures ripe for a macro lens.

The pic turned out very nice, even if I do say so myself and a conversation that took place with a friend together wove the seeds of inspiration into the germ of an idea that became “Vacant Heart to Rent”.

VACANT HEART TO RENT

Come in, Come in
It’s cold outside
The owner I hear
Once looked upon it with great pride

I’m told by neighbours
She’s very gracious
Look around
You’ll see
It’s very spacious

A bit weatherworn to be sure
And I’ll admit
The lock’s a little stiff
On the front door

It just needs
A little care and attention
No!
The previous tenant
was never mentioned

A little dusty and unused
Still a small echo
Of when it was abused

Take a walk
Feel that solid ground
There’s plenty of space to move around

All the pictures torn down
The walls are bare
As I said
It just needs
A little tender love and care

A few leaks and cracks
Where it was broken
No
I’m afraid the owner and I
Haven’t personally spoken

The rent’s not cheap
I certainly agree
But the potential is magnificent
Don’t you see?

A vacant heart
Is just so sad
But as a starting point
This one’s not so bad

Ruth Weal
30 November 2007 8.30 am
Copyright R.Weal 2007 ©

So that’s my contribution right now, maybe more later.  If you want to find out more and get involved with National Poetry Day check out these on-line portals:

• National Poetry Day Website
• National Poetry Day Facebook Event
• @PoetryDayUK on Twitter

May poetry spring from your lips and prose tumble to your toes.

Wealie x

Challenging Perceptions - Copyright R.Weal 2006

Playing on the title of Whitney Houston’s song “My name is not Susan!” for this post.  I’ll warn you up front it’s going to be a little bit of a rant.

The observant of you will know that I have never in my entire life ever referred to myself as “Ruthie” (suppressing the shudders) and more often than not told people off for calling me “Ruthie”.  I’ve been called Wealie, Ruth, R, Generalwealie, The General, Rufuswealie and Rufus, yes, but never, ever, never “Ruthie” (gags)!

I don’t know why people feel need to call me “Ruthie” and lately it seems that more and more people are calling me it, especially on-line, where it seems that much more difficult to correct people without seeming to be rude or ungrateful.

Also, I must confess that I’ve never quite understood why people would want to make my name longer in the first place, not to mention making it into a horribly cutesy and queasy nickname at that.  I mean, I can see why Deborah would become Debbie or Debs and how Robert could become Rob or Bob or Bert, but why lengthen a name? It’s a mystery to me that’s for sure.

Now when I think of “Ruthie” it brings to mind a sweet and twee little blond blue eyed girlie, in cotton candy pink knitted twin sets and lots of pearly white teeth, innocent and cute, a real goodie two shoes, with lots of pastels in her wardrobe.  If you know me, then you know this is far from a good description for me and the total opposite of what I have ever wanted to be in life.  Just look at the picture I’ve added in here, I think it underscores my point (grin).  So you’ll understand now why when I hear or read “Ruthie” directed at me it makes me shudder and cringe.

Well, I think you’ve probably guessed by now that I do feel strongly that  the nickname “Ruthie” doesn’t suit me and quite frankly don’t like it and wouldn’t call another Ruth “Ruthie” either, even if she did look like one!  That said if she felt strongly about it I’d have to get over my prejudice as I do believe that we should always refer to people using names and nicknames that they are comfortable with and which reflect their personality.

As to the picture Challenging Perceptions is one of my experiments with photo manipulation using Photoshop.  I have always firmly believed that true art works on many different levels and has deeper meaning and significance both to the artist and the consumer of the art.  I’ve always liked to use my poetry, paintings and to certain extent my photography to pose questions, or to set a scene for a question to be asked.  People react in very different ways and this picture was no exception.

Any way enough with the ranting, today I’m just sending out this final impassioned plea……

Please, please don’t call me Ruthie!
Thanks

Wealie x