Convergence (A Self Portrait)

This is one of my older paintings and has a lot of meaning for me. I painted it during the dark days after my Grandmother died when it was too painful to write, too painful to be around anyone, too painful to leave the house. Convergence, Confluence and Overload of the Senses were the outlet for my grief, a purging of the pain and a means to finding my way back to myself in some way.

Convergence was my longest “straight through creation”, i.e. I painted it over 48 hrs without sleeping or leaving the house (I did snack and have loo breaks though).   Of the three paintings I created after Nan died this was the one that brought me the most resolution and peace. Symbolic of all the ties of the people I love in my life and the convergence of all their love weaving into the pattern that makes up me.

In a way that I did not quite understand until I viewed it again lately it is an emotional self portrait of my thoughts and feelings.

It was with great happiness that I gave this painting in particular to one of the most important women in my life (my very good friend and sister of my soul), Lisa.   It hangs in pride of place in her bathroom and it’s nice to know that something born in my grief and pain has brought her joy.

I never took a pic of it before I gave it to Lisa (I never really have of my paintings). I used to be exceptionally self-conscious of this medium of my artistic outlet and don’t by any means consider myself to be a painter and artist. My technique is sloppy at best, but I find a certain sense of peace when I paint. Where writing wrings from me the emotions, taking me to great highs and lows, leaving me elated and drained, painting is the opposite. Painting grounds me, fills me with the scent of the colours, mesmerises me with the shapes and lines my mind would have me follow and leads me to my centre and peace. I should probably paint more often (grin).

In days gone by I have merely thrown away my canvases after a few weeks and never thought to share them with anyone until the likes of Lisa complained at the idea.

Well Lisa now has another two of my paintings and true to form I gave them to her before photographing them, so I went to her house with camera in hand and finally photographed Convergence too.

It’s acrylic on canvas, I hope you like it too.