Remembering Babcia

Today was my Babcia – my Polish grandmother’s funeral, she was just shy of her 87th birthday when sadly she was taken from her loved ones and friends.  Babcia, or Maria as she was known to her friends was a strong woman who went through so much in her early life.

I wasn’t planning to speak at the funeral, but found myself needing to get up and speak about the woman she was to me.  At the request of my Auntie Chris I have written up the eulogy below.  It sums up my off the cuff speech at the funeral and says everything else that I would have wanted to say of her influence on my life.

Maria Wnek – My Babcia

Today I want to speak about the type of person that Maria Wnek was and what we can all learn and take from the way she lived her life.  I never knew her as Maria; to me she was always a grandmother, my Babcia.  But I know that she was many things to many people, daughter, sister, cousin, mother, friend and most importantly a lover and devoted wife.

Babcia was a woman of incredible strength and seemingly never ending generosity; she experienced and suffered more in her young life than any one should ever have to.  Her indomitable spirit and will to live meant that she survived the terrors of war and her separation from family and friends at a tender age.  She had the tremendous courage to leave her home with next to nothing, to forge a new life, in a new land where she would make new friends and have a family, but also face the injustice of prejudice and hate.  Yet for all that this woman saw and experienced the harsh realities and cruelties of life, she never ceased to see the good in people.

I remember her most in her kitchen, the consummate cook, preparing enough food to feed the 5,000, even when she just had 5 people for Saturday lunch.  Her kitchen table filled with pasta and pastries for pierogi and Chruścik, not to mention the humongous pot of bigos stewing on the stove.  The sense memories of all those foods weaves around me, transporting me back to the days when I felt loved, safe and warm and of course well fed in her presence.  Her generosity meant that you never went hungry, in fact usually the opposite and there was always a big bag of something to take home with you along with another piece of cut glass crystal or crockery.

My house is full of memories, individual cut glass mementos, beautiful pieces of crystal and a wonderful dinner set that she had commissioned for me when I was just 11!  Each item indelible with the memory of the care she took in choosing it for me, the joy it gave her in the giving and the light it lit in her eyes to see my enjoyment of it.  Her pride in her homeland and the beautiful craftsmanship of her people shone through her like a lone candle in the darkness.  No matter how long she lived in England and how well she made it her home, her heart always belonged to Poland.  Babcia’s devotion to ensuring that she did whatever she could do for those friends and loved ones still in Poland was a lesson none of us should forget.  I remember numerous trips to markets with her, haggling with the stall holders for the very best deal, buying clothes and goods that every year without fail she took back home to Poland.

I remember her smile, her gentle touch and her infectious giggle, how she would always bring her hand over her heart whenever she laughed or cried, as if her heart was so big, she had to keep her hand there to prevent it from leaping out with the emotion that overtook it.  The way she hugged you as if her very life and yours depended upon it.  The overwhelming gratitude for every moment you spent in her presence and her amazement at even the smallest gift that you gave her.  Her friendship brought succour and warmth to so many; all of her family and friends can honour her, take that friendship freely given and deliver it up to another, bring warmth and peace, generosity and love in her name and she will always walk in you.

Our loss is great, but Babcia was bigger than the life she led, she lives on in each of us, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.  We carry the legacy of a truly amazing woman in the blood that runs deep within our veins.  It is our duty and our great privilege to make immortal the woman that was Maria Wnek, not just through our blood, but in the deep values of generosity and selflessness she gave us and in the lessons of life, strength of spirit and great personal courage that she taught us simply by living her life.

We all have wonderful memories of our experience in her presence and I urge you all, in the cold moments when her loss seems too much to bare, take out your memories, enfold them in your heart and let just the memory of her warmth infuse you and you will no longer feel the cold.

Tread safely Babcia and know that in word and deed, in blood and love, we honour you.

For Maria Wnek – devoted wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, sister, daughter, cousin and friend.

Ruth Weal - 28 September 2010 10.58 pm
Copyright R.Weal 2010 ©